German Terror Attacks and Media Bias

I will resist the urge again this week to simply discuss Pokémon Go – although would briefly like to mention that I caught my first pocket monster whilst mildly inebriated in London, and also discovered that the MI6 building is a Pokégym.

However, more serious matters are afoot. Whilst British holidaymakers experience a taste of what’s to come in a post-Brexit world, with 12 hour tailbacks between here and Calais, and Labour infighting reaches new levels of ludicrousness with the party being sued by its own members, the world’s attention has turned to Germany, which has inevitably been the victim of some isolated events of violence carried out by individuals, which are predictably being stitched into a narrative of global terrorism by our sensationalist media.

It appears clear that there are no obvious connections between the events in question, and although some have claimed affiliation with so-called Islamic State, there is no way to confirm this. Indeed, it suits Dahesh’s narrative to allow lone attackers to claim victims in their name, despite the fact they may not have had any meaningful contact with the organisation.

This also shines a light on the phenomenon of news coverage, whereby we see a spike in certain events receiving coverage, in the wake of significant breaking stories. So in the fallout from the Brexit vote, people were informed about all racist and anti-xenophobic abuse taking place across the UK, thereby creating the illusion that this hadn’t been happening (and woefully underreported) beforehand. Likewise, we are now hearing about an isolated stabbing, which police identified a s a crime of passion, in Germany because the attacker happened to be a Syrian refugee.

Tellingly, the young man who blew himself up at a music festival in Bavaria was reported to be disenfranchised due to being refused asylum in the country. It is not welcoming people in need into our countries which does the damage, but rather building walls to keep us apart. 

Trident-mon Go! Festival Fatigue, Labour Infighting and the Nuclear Option

Having spent the past five days in a sunny field in Suffolk, soaking up the hotbed of leftfield culture and cliché middle class moments (to paraphrase Stewart Lee, the halloumi sleeps soundly on the grills of Stoke Newington tonight) that is Latitude festival – I have been mercifully insulated from the ongoing cavalcade of horrendous events which have apparently taken place in my absence from the wonderful world of twenty four hour rolling news coverage.

In fact, the only current global phenomenon I have returned with more knowledge of than when I left is the inevitable culmination of recent millennial trends (resurrecting things that were popular in the 90s, social media, and augmented reality) that is Pokémon Go. I spotted many a festival goer/wannabe pokémasters capturing Rattata rather than engaging in the various delights the festival had to offer – including the wonderfully named Double Pussy Clit Fuck whose performance I am reliably informed involved live cunnilingus accompanied by a crowd karaoke rendition of Love Will Tear Us Apart.   

However, I shall resist the temptation to dedicate the rest of this piece to discussing the intricacies of nabbing a Snorlax, and instead turn my attention to another 20^th century throwback, namely the seemingly imminent split of the Labour party. Owen Smith has now thrown his oar into what he must surely realise is a sinking ship, a man with about as much charisma as a Magikarp, who has already managed to ‘do a Leadsom’ by suggesting his being a family man gives him an edge over his fellow establishment rival for the throne – which would be bad enough, if she weren’t also one of the first openly gay MPs to represent the party.

Meanwhile, Westminster has voted overwhelmingly in favour of spending more money than we’ve sent to Brussels in living memory to renew an obsolete fleet of white elephants (or perhaps white whales?) which will continue to pointlessly patrol the Atlantic Ocean. Join the CND or better yet, The Labour Party and fight for the nuclear disarmament of our newly independent country – these weapons are merely a clitoris extension for our Thatcher-lite new PM, and her cabinet of Conservative throwbacks. 

The Eagle has landed: Corbyn and future of the Labour Party

The resounding boos, from what one would assume to be a fairly establishment crowd, when the soon to be European Wimbledon champion name checked our pig bothering outgoing PM in his victory speech, were more telling of the current state of the nation than any amount of press conferences or Q&As with his potential successors. Citizens on all sides of the political spectrum feel betrayed by the way Cameron has handled his affairs, and aren't afraid to show it.

Meanwhile, over in the increasingly ramshackle and weather beaten Labour camp, Angela Eagle has thrown her hat into a ring, which some people aren't even sure exists. The fact that the party itself seems unsure about if, and indeed how, Cornyn will be able to reapply for his own job, seems to be a potent  metaphor for the general state of confusion paralysing the party, and indeed the country itself.

As the cogs and gears of Westminster continue to turn, we will inevitably move away from this political purgatory, but as things stand, there are huge questions concerning what direction this will be in. As the Greens (the only party to be currently holding a leadership contest without tearing their party apart) call for a cross party coalition to push for electoral reform, including proportional representation, potential PM in waiting Theresa May is poised to curtail freedom of movement for EU nationals, regardless of the economic impact.

As I write, it appears that Leadsom's campaign is preparing to throw in the towel, likely paving the way for May as the heir apparent. It is as yet unknown whether this is due to the discovery that Leadsom falsified her CV to the extent that she has no political experience whatsoever, and just happened to be passing the Houses of Parliament on a London Duck Tour, before deciding to hop off and run for the most high profile political position in (what remains for the time being) Britain.

The media and the establishment appear obsessed with the idea that Corbyn is 'unelectable', thereby ensuring he is exactly that. Cameron's reception on Sunday shows us that people from all walks of life are fed up with business as usual in Westminster - if you agree, join the Labour Party, and let Jez continue trying to do things differently.  

Gove, May, Farage and Johnson - The Unfab Four and the State of the Nation

Well that was a quiet week wasn’t it? Britain is in the midst of its most significant period of political turmoil for decades, and the traditional summer silly season has transformed into a grotesque cavalcade of confusion, xenophobia, infighting and backstabbing. Little wonder some of us appear more concerned with the fact that Wales are through to the semi-finals of the Euros – I wonder what the odds would’ve been on that combined with a Brexit accumulator at the beginning of the year?

Any solace a leftie remain voter might be able to seek from watching the Tories tear themselves apart amidst the chaos, is confounded by watching the Labour party do the same. Screw proportional representation, at this rate UKIP and the Greens will manage majorities under first past the post.

However, this is serious. It seems inevitable that a general election will have to be called before we are too far along the road towards the process triggered by the much talked about Article 50. Gove’s much publicised betrayal of Johnson has simply served to replace a self-styled “bumbling buffoon” with a man who cocks things up without even being entertaining in the process.

Having overseen the complete decimation of the education system, and rattling the wrong cages as Justice Secretary, Gove has apparently decided that his tendency to pursue his own misguided policy, in the face of mass professional and public opposition, should extend to the country as a whole. The fact that most forward thinking voters are praying for a victory by May speaks volumes about the dire situation we find ourselves in.

As I write, news has broken that walking fearmongering factory Nigel Farage has stepped down as leader of UKIP – much like Johnson, appearing to be jumping ship, having just finished drilling a large hole through the hull. These two arrogant, privileged, shallow and deceitful politicians have used a smokescreen of everyman-ness, “straight talking” and opportunistic capitalisation on people’s legitimate fears and anxieties, to leave the rest of us on a rapidly sinking vessel. It’s now up to us to keep it afloat, without resorting to the politics of division so favoured by our former crew members.