Beach body ready? Burkini-gate

As images of elderly ladies being forced to remove their clothes by French police officers shock the world, the question must be asked, is this a genuine example of political correctness gone mad? 

France's commitment to secularism (which only seems to extend to demonising Islam) would be admirable if it wasn't so misguided and unbalanced. Despite being a potent symbol of patriarchy (unlike high heels which are obviously an embodiment of progressive feminism) wearing of a burka and its poolside equivalent allows women a freedom of movement that they would not otherwise be able to enjoy. 

As with many things in life, it is the root cause of the issue which needs to be addressed. One can discuss and debate issues around the role of women within Islamic culture, without resorting to curbing people's human rights in the process. The burkini is a symptom not a cause, and it is precisely this kind of demonisation and prejudiced behaviour against Muslims which precipitates and accelerates global terrorism. 

Super Mari-Mo: Farwell Rio, Hello Tokyo

As the only event that seems to have lasted longer than the Labour leadership race comes to a close, I say farewell the Rio olympics with a heavy heart. 

Whether it was people suggestively reading books on the Copacabana, American athletes kicking in doors whilst drunk and then claiming to have been mugged, or even the prime minister of Japan dressing up as a portly plumber and emerging from a pipe during the closing ceremony - Rio 2016 has been a more than welcome distraction from the usual depressing death and destruction we've been presented with over the past months. 

It may be a bloated, over the top and corrupt institution (not to mention the fact that golf is now recognised as an olympic sport. Golf! It's barely even a hobby) but the olympics is nevertheless a celebration of internationalism, and the only acceptable forum to wave a national flag around as far as I'm concerned. 

Now all eyes are on Tokyo 2020, where Super Abe will hopefully be able to preside over something even more spectacular than the BBC's Dan Walker being ambushed by a hen do on live television. And hopefully they'll have got rid of the bloody golf as well...

Uber-abuse: "The withholding economy"

It’s been a busy week for the so called sharing economy – which as far as I can see is based on the ethos that “we’ll share the spoils of your poorly paid labour with our shareholders”. Capitalism never fails to find a way to exploit new developments in human achievement, and mobile technology is certainly no exception.

The main culprit this week has been Deliveroo, which has backed down on a planned rollout of a per delivery pay rate for its riders in the face of successful industrial action by its sickeningly named Roomen and Roowomen. The knowledge that it’s founder worked as a ‘Rooman’ for 8 months to fully understand the realities of the business, is slightly undermined by the fact that the scooter he used to do so is now painted gold and installed in their headquarters.

Full disclosure – I have ordered a few Deilveroos in my time and even used the odd Uber (but only when I’ve got a voucher code – take that “the man”). I offset my lower middle class guilt over paying someone to drive me around, by interviewing Uber drivers about their experiences. The results are fascinating and depressing in equal measure.

One told me, “I don’t feel like part of the company”. He was muscled out of his regular driving job with a small firm by Uber, and then was forced to join the transportation juggernaut to make ends meet.  He described it as “working for the enemy”, and it’s not hard to see why.  

Meanwhile, in the world of more old fashioned abuses of worker’s rights Sports Direct, has been ordered to pay £1 million in back wages to its warehouse workers, after being accused of acting like a Victorian workhouse (albeit one with a much higher concentration of novelty sized mugs) and not treating their staff as humans.

No matter your employment status, you are able to seek representation from a union (http://www.unitetheunion.org/ is a good place to start) or indeed form their own. In these uncertain and increasingly troubled times, it is all the more important that stand together against injustice in the workplace, to ensure a fairer deal for everyone. 

Ed Balls

In the only positive news related to the Labour Party this week, Ed Balls was announced as the first 'celebrity' to be taking part in the new series of post-apocalyptic danceathon Strictly Come Dancing, in a nod to Ed Balls Day by the BBC.

As the official celebration of the then MPs inexplicably hilarious Twitter gaffe, on the 28th April, seems an age away at this point in proceedings however, our attention must reluctantly turn to the slow death march that is the Labour leadership election. As the court ruling to allow 130,000 barred members to vote seems to have all but sealed the deal for a Jezza victory, it is now up to the PLP to decide whether they want to get of their collective pram, and get their toys back, or merely throw them further out of reach.

It is clear that whoever it's leader, a disunited and shambolic Labour party will never be able to successfully challenge the cool, calculated war machine that is Theresa May's Tories. Owen Smith is a Blaritie automaton, programmed with policy that he thinks will unite both sides of the party, whilst seemingly achieving the remarkable feat of dividing them further.  

A vote for Corbyn is, despite what the mainstream media would have you believe, a vote for a different kind of politics. As soon as the establishment wake up to this fact, the better. 

Meanwhile, in the world of gaffe prone megalomaniacs with bad hair...

Walking punchline Donald "Omnishambles" Trump, currently appears to be winning the battle of offensive, bizarrely popular, bumbling politicians with extremely questionable haircuts. Mercifully not in terms of political achievements, but in regards to what percentage of the current global population he has managed to offend.

Boris Johnson has been strangely quiet since his inexplicable appointment as Foreign Secretary - a situation which a large majority of the world genuinely thinks is an unfunny practical joke, and who are wondering when Theresa May will break the news to him. Perhaps this is because he's still stunned into silent disbelief by his own appointment as Britain's envoy to the world, considering he's spent a significant majority of his political career trying to piss it off.

Meanwhile, the man whose name is appropriately a synonym for a noxious bodily gas, has been busy offending anyone who'll listen on the other side of the pond. Trump is a man who does not so much ruffle feathers, as pluck them off one by one and use them to tar and feather whichever particular minority he's decided to persecute that morning.

One can only hope that his latest diatribe, against a Muslim couple who lost their son when we was serving in the U.S. Military, will unite those on both sides of the political spectrum against a man who sees a woman standing silently and supportivly by her husband whilst he is speaking eloquently about their dead son, and seizes the opportunity to criticise her for not speaking enough.