The Great British Sell Off

Further to my previous post, I’ve come up with a brilliant idea for the BBC’s latest cash cow, now that the obligatory baking competition has come to a close for the winter break. It shall be called ‘The Great British Sell Off’ and will feature bloodthirsty and money-hungry suits furiously vying for control of various lucrative government contracts. Cross-over possibilities abound, such as the integration of ex-apprentice candidates (the taxis taking fired contestants from Sugar HQ could bring them straight to GBSO studios). Other potential fusions would include ‘One Sold Every Minute’, in which the conglomerate now controlling the NHS would begin selling off new-born babies in order to cut costs. The cause of the missing infants would then be falsely linked to various Roma families, creating a prefect storm of pseudo-journalism and witch-hunting for Paul Dacre et al, and the rest of the right-wing media. ‘Strictly Come Privatising’ would feature ex-public sector workers dancing for the pleasure of the aforementioned bloodthirsty business men and women, with the slim chance of keeping their jobs in their recently annexed industries dangled above them as an incentive. ‘Britain’s got Assets’ may not get the green-light due to the tautological nature of the title, and ‘Made in China’ may be open to criticism of cultural insensitivity, so will be shelved until further notice, dependent on the success of other spin-offs. Watch this space…