Perhaps fittingly, I inadvertently booked a trip to see my brother in Berlin on the day of the EU referendum; depending on the result, I will strongly consider missing the return flight.
The hullabaloo around this undoubtedly important decision has thrown up some interesting conundrums for the casual observer. Will we still get to compete in Eurovision? Will Brexit finally mean our bananas are free to be as bendy as we apparently want them to be? And most importantly, who is more of a danger to the future of British society, automa-tory George Osborne or megalomaniac masquerading as a childcare's party entertainer, Boris Johnson?
Political issues which cut across the left-right divide are difficult for us humble voters to disentangle. What to make of a situation where self-confessed Marxist Yanis Varoufakis and notorious urine monetiser Martin O'Leary can be found arguing passionately for the same cause? Indeed, O'Leary has gone as far as to offer British expats (economic migrants?) cut price flights to get home in time for election day, whilst on the other side of the dubious publicity stunt by outspoken millionaire fence, Weatherspoon's founder Tim Martin has flooded his pubs with Brexit beer mats, the content of which are presumably being hotly debated over a round of jägerbombs as we speak. Joking aside, it is certainly telling that in the past few months, I have heard people from all walks of life discussing the finer points of the debate - mostly coming to the conclusion that they haven't got a clue.
Pro-Brexit arguments from the radical left tend to focus on the idea that, free form the neo-liberal yolk of Jean-Claude Juncker et al, Britain will be free to cultivate the socialist utopia it has always dreamed of. In a world where Jeremy Corbyn is viewed by almost all mainstream media as at best an amusing 80s throwback, and at worst, a genuine threat to global security, this seems highly unlikely. A more realistic scenario, is that it will solidify Britain's increasing trend towards isolationism, individualism and ignorance, creating an increasingly fragmented and hostile society. Some talk of toppling Cameron, which very much feels like the nuclear option with Osborne, Johnson and May eagerly waiting in the wings. Say what you like about the probable pig botherer, but he is at worst a benign dictator.
Those on the right baying for Brussels' blood take the different, but no less misguided, line that Brexit will be economically beneficial for Britain. The very fact that most mainstream economists argue this won't be the case undermines this argument, as global economics is entirely based on blind faith in the system itself. Vote Leave points out that we have sent half a trillion pounds to the EU since 1973, which frankly seems like a bargain when we are on the cusp on spending half that amount on some obsolete submarines to pootle around the Atlantic for the next 40 years. The issue of migration is unarguably a serious one, and too nuanced to get into here. Suffice it to say, that we can continue being hostile towards people not from round here, whether in, out, or indeed shaking it all about, which should be enough to silence even the most swivel eyed the pro-Brexit campaign has to offer.
And don't worry, I've applied for a postal vote, so I'll still be able to have my say come election day. If you're still undecided, I'll leave you with the wise words of the aforementioned Greek revolutionary Varoufakis - "When I was student, a close friend who hated parties nevertheless never missed one just so that he would have something to bitch about the day after. Please do not be like him."
The hullabaloo around this undoubtedly important decision has thrown up some interesting conundrums for the casual observer. Will we still get to compete in Eurovision? Will Brexit finally mean our bananas are free to be as bendy as we apparently want them to be? And most importantly, who is more of a danger to the future of British society, automa-tory George Osborne or megalomaniac masquerading as a childcare's party entertainer, Boris Johnson?
Political issues which cut across the left-right divide are difficult for us humble voters to disentangle. What to make of a situation where self-confessed Marxist Yanis Varoufakis and notorious urine monetiser Martin O'Leary can be found arguing passionately for the same cause? Indeed, O'Leary has gone as far as to offer British expats (economic migrants?) cut price flights to get home in time for election day, whilst on the other side of the dubious publicity stunt by outspoken millionaire fence, Weatherspoon's founder Tim Martin has flooded his pubs with Brexit beer mats, the content of which are presumably being hotly debated over a round of jägerbombs as we speak. Joking aside, it is certainly telling that in the past few months, I have heard people from all walks of life discussing the finer points of the debate - mostly coming to the conclusion that they haven't got a clue.
Pro-Brexit arguments from the radical left tend to focus on the idea that, free form the neo-liberal yolk of Jean-Claude Juncker et al, Britain will be free to cultivate the socialist utopia it has always dreamed of. In a world where Jeremy Corbyn is viewed by almost all mainstream media as at best an amusing 80s throwback, and at worst, a genuine threat to global security, this seems highly unlikely. A more realistic scenario, is that it will solidify Britain's increasing trend towards isolationism, individualism and ignorance, creating an increasingly fragmented and hostile society. Some talk of toppling Cameron, which very much feels like the nuclear option with Osborne, Johnson and May eagerly waiting in the wings. Say what you like about the probable pig botherer, but he is at worst a benign dictator.
Those on the right baying for Brussels' blood take the different, but no less misguided, line that Brexit will be economically beneficial for Britain. The very fact that most mainstream economists argue this won't be the case undermines this argument, as global economics is entirely based on blind faith in the system itself. Vote Leave points out that we have sent half a trillion pounds to the EU since 1973, which frankly seems like a bargain when we are on the cusp on spending half that amount on some obsolete submarines to pootle around the Atlantic for the next 40 years. The issue of migration is unarguably a serious one, and too nuanced to get into here. Suffice it to say, that we can continue being hostile towards people not from round here, whether in, out, or indeed shaking it all about, which should be enough to silence even the most swivel eyed the pro-Brexit campaign has to offer.
And don't worry, I've applied for a postal vote, so I'll still be able to have my say come election day. If you're still undecided, I'll leave you with the wise words of the aforementioned Greek revolutionary Varoufakis - "When I was student, a close friend who hated parties nevertheless never missed one just so that he would have something to bitch about the day after. Please do not be like him."
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